He’s truly an ‘outsider’. Someone who’s part of showbiz and yet not of it. Someone who’s as familiar with the dazzle as with the dust. In his eight-year career, Ayushmann Khurrana has acquired a lifetime of learning. Thanks to both success and failure, pleasure and pain, which have kept him engaged simultaneously. Being a consummate artiste – he sees the poetry in it all. In the seduction of stardom and the reality beyond it. An avid believer in the Buddhist philosophy, it helps him find equilibrium in a world of extremes. Understanding the mind and the method of the monk, who’s at home with the movies…
What are you doing during the lockdown?
I’ve been such a lazy lump of protoplasm during this lockdown. (Laughs) Forgive the biology. Actually, I was a student of biology. Samajh mein nahin aata hai ki thak kar sona hai yaa so kar thakna hai. So I’m confused. I sleep for seven and half hours during the night. The afternoon siesta is for an hour and a half. That makes it around 9 to 10 hours of sleep. I feel redundant. I wonder if I’ll be able to work after the lockdown. I’ve become used to just lazing around. I surface around 4.30 pm. I feel energetic after that. Before that I’m cranky. (Smiles) I may even strike someone with something.
Aren’t you cooking anything like the others?
Khana khane se fursat milti hi nahi. I can’t cook. When I first came to Mumbai, I’d brought my cook along. I was living in a 1BHK flat. My cook used to share it with me. I can live without a girlfriend or wife. But I can’t live without a cook.
Are you being a pain to your wife Tahira (Kashyap)?
I’ve been an absolute pain to Tahira. She wonders what I’m doing. The last time we spent so much time together must have been 10 years back. She considers me as her third child. She’s always known me as a lazy guy, who tries not to be lazy.
What have you discovered about your kids? Are you a good father?
I try to be a good father to my kids (son Virajveer and daughter Varushka). I can still do better. I’ve discovered that they’re truly my kids because they’re terrible in mathematics. I go crazy explaining math to my son. He’s good with the piano and art. He’s an artiste.
Now that you have the time do you revisit your films?
Two things can happen while watching your own films. Either you get self- obsessed or you become over-critical. I have both these tendencies. So I don’t watch my films. I watch my films in the edit and probably once with the cast and crew. I remember watching Dum Laga Ke Haisha with the audience. It was overwhelming because the film was so special. It was a kind of comeback for me. After that I decided not to watch my films with the audience in the theatre. I came from Chandigarh with huge aspirations of becoming an actor. I’ve bought tickets in black to watch films. Cut to when you watch yourself on a 70mm screen. It becomes too overwhelming.
Did you imagine that you would become so successful?
We all dream about it. I imagined it too. I won’t deny it. But what you dream about doesn’t turn into reality always. I’m fortunate to find success. I’m full of gratitude.
Did you become obnoxious after tasting success?
After Vicky Donor, I turned obnoxious probably with my family. Maybe, because I was going through a low phase with Tahira after Vicky Donor. When your first film becomes super successful you start believing you’re invincible. You gain this false sense of confidence that whatever you touch, will turn into gold. Mera dimaag kharab ho gaya tha. Then I went through a learning curve after some flops.
How easy or difficult a person are you to live with?
(Smiles) You’ll have to ask Tahira about that. I’m my own person. I like to do my own things. I’m like let me live my life. Don’t hinder it. If I’m reading a book in a corner of my house – let me be. I don’t bother you. You don’t bother me. That’s my way of thinking. Generally, this doesn’t happen when you have a family. I try to be responsible. Thoda mushkil hai mere saath.
Is there something you want to change about yourself?
Lot of things. I’m imperfect. I should be less lazy and more involved with the people around me. There’s this perception that I’m super ambitious because I do three films a year. But that’s not true. In reality, I’m extremely lazy and laidback.
Are you a good brother to aparshakti Khurana?
He’s a better sibling than me for sure. He’s more responsible, more loving. He’s a people’s person. He can forge and nurture relationships. He’s the best brother in the world and also the best husband. In fact, he’s the best human being I know.
What do you like and not like about stardom?
As a star, you’re pampered. There are 10 people around you, who take care of everything in your life. You feel empty when you’re on a foreign trip on your own, where no one knows you. There is no spot boy or manager to take care of your ticketing or talk to the person at the reception. It’s difficult to get out of the glamour world and make yourself ready for the real world.
Do you get to know yourself better when you travel?
Of course! I went to Bahamas for New Year. We were staying at a great seven-star property. Being anonymous and having to stand in a queue, without a security guard, spot boy and manager to take care of you, makes you realise that there’s something beyond your stardom. You’re shown the truth. You may be somebody in a certain sphere. But when you step out of that, you’re a nobody. That reality check is not easy.
Has your slant towards Buddhism helped you stay real?
Buddhism has been a life-altering experience. It’s been miraculous. I started the practice of reciting chants before the release of Meri Pyaari Bindu (2017). I chant for at least 40 minutes a day. Though the film didn’t do well I remained self-assured. By nature, I get confused easily. But this practice has given me clarity about what I want in life. Also, the goal of this practice is peace, something we need in this day and age.
Gulabo sitabo has released on the Ott platform. How do you view this detour?
Entertainment is a luxury item, not a basic necessity. Now, in times of job cuts, people will think twice before spending 1000 bucks at a multiplex. People will try to save now. The economy has taken a huge dip. But at the same time art will survive. You need art to maintain sanity. You need to consume entertainment. People have grown used to watching films on the OTT platforms. They may think twice before going to the theatres now. I guess concerts or even the big Punjabi weddings will not happen soon. It will be difficult to get married in the first place. Now people won’t match horoscopes. They’ll get corona tests done of prospective couples. Life will turn that crazy. Having said that, the fun of watching cinema in the theatres is exciting. Whenever that happens, say after six months or whenever, it will be a huge celebration for cinema. We’re going through a tough time. But we will survive.
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