Tanuja Chandra's upcoming web series Hush Hush features Soha Ali Khan in a prominent role. Soha discusses her role, investigative instincts, and guilt as a working mom in an interview with Filmfare
What can you tell me about your character in Hush-Hush?
I'm playing Saiba, a married ex-journalist with two children and a very nice husband. She has a happy married life. She is fiercely protective of her family and passionate about her beliefs. My character is extremely muhfat. She speaks her mind, doesn't mince words, and uses quiet colourful language, which is not something I do, and especially not with people I admire. Saiba is not concerned with pleasing others. That was nice. That's something I like about Saiba's personality. Because I rarely played characters who were more demure.
Were you excited about doing this role?
It is very exciting for me because I wanted to be a journalist in real life. I always wanted to be a detective and do an investigative journalism. When we used to live in Delhi, there was no gate at our house. There was one chowkidar who fall asleep at night and we would come and go. Mujhe bahut Shauk tha ye jaanne ka ki kon kya kar raha hai. Like neighbourhood crime probably and aunty kya kar rahi hai. (laughs). We had a huge family like it was an extended family. Uncles, grand uncles and cousins... used to go into abba’s office and make notes. Then I was told to stop doing this. My father also advised me once to never write anything down. I think as a person he was also quite hush hush hush.
You are fond of writing and reading…
Yes, I love to read and write a lot. Actually, I have read a lot in the past, more than I read today. I have kept many diaries. I read them back and I am like it's so silly. I encourage my daughter Inaaya to read. Today while brushing her teeth, I said it's very important to read. you must read then you will learn so much. She said yeah but it's not about you. (laughs) I felt very proud also.
If you were a journalist, which celebrity would you like to interview?
I am really not very interested in other people's lives. I am more interested in political social affairs. I think there needs to be a distinction between how somebody is in her private space and what they require to do as a public role. Especially an actor's life. I think often we confuse the role with the person and that can be problematic.
How was it working with Tanuja Chandra as a director?
Tanuja is a big fan of flaws and mistakes.What I admire about Tanuja is that she is unconcerned about her appearance. She wants real things, such as being okay with having grey hair. That felt very liberating to me. When I ask, "Do I have to do it again?" 'No,' she'd say. It's perfectly normal to make a mistake or to trip. It's fine as long as you get the message across.' That was fantastic.
What was it like working with all female co-actors and a female director?
It was entertaining. We're all very happy and chatty all the time. I'm not sure if ham sab ki alag alag vanity par kyon kharcha kiya. (laughs). Vanity ham ek hi baithkar gappe maarte the.
It's also relaxing…
There was definitely a sense of calm. I've been on numerous sets where Bharti (the hair and makeup team) and I were the only women present. And sometimes you're shooting in places where there aren't even restrooms, and you can't even ask for them because you feel like it's just me, so why bother? I'll simply hide behind a tree or a dupatta. However, when there are enough women, your needs don't seem so insignificant. You take great care of security and sanitary facilities. Those things simply become universally acknowledged.
You don't put in much effort. Why?
I definitely value work-life balance. I chose to have a child later in life so that I could devote more time to being a parent. That has always been my first priority. Women are said to be great multitaskers, but I can only do one thing at a time. Do-teen cheezen ek saath Karna aata hi nahin hai. I had lost sight of myself when I became a mother. Now I realise that was a huge mistake, and you must maintain other identities, passions, and pursuits. But it took me two years to realise this. Then I did movies. Web series, travelling, writing books, working out, playing badminton, meeting friends. Most important thing for me is to just spend time with your loved ones. Fortunately, I am very fortunate to be able to make choices. I understand a lot of people don't have that. So I want to appreciate that. I am happy.
Women live with the guilt of leaving their children at home and going to work. Have you ever experienced the same?
Yes, I occasionally feel guilty. However, this comes from within. It comes from our desire to be everywhere. I believe I am the best at everything. Meri beti ko jaise main khana khilati hun vaise Koi aur khana nahin khila payega. She'll be starving. However, it is impossible to do everything. Everyone knows we work and care for our child, husband, and home. Women put in a lot of effort. So all we have to do now is unwind.
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